I had driven through the neighborhood countless times, it was less than a ½ mile from where we lived and made for a dreamy alternative to the busy commerce laden street that was our standard route to the grocery store, pizza parlor, or dry cleaners.
“If I could live in a house like that, I’d finally have made it!”
If I thought that once I thought it a thousand times passing by this particular home. It had a traditional feel with a wonderfully graded lot, which meant it sat slightly higher than its surrounding neighbors like Mount St. Helen among foothills. The yard was perfectly manicured with seasonal flowers and shrubbery which would have given any royal garden a run for its money. And its three-car garage simply validated my attitude that it encapsulated the pinnacle of the American dream. And much like Ralphie Parker staring at that Red Rider BB Gun in Goldblatt’s store window, I had lofty ambitions of having a dream of my own.
Little could I have imagined in just a few short years I would be granted that suburban wish. We moved into our very own dream home with a colossal front yard, massive three-car garage, and a master closet you could park a Winnebago in. With enough square footage to house a sizable Peruvian village I thought it was the diamond in my crown of achievement. From choosing the lot to deciding on double glass pane doors we were painstakingly involved in every nuance of its construction. And I still have the vivid memory of putting away the last moving box and thinking
“Ole boy, you’ve finally arrived!”
I think we all have times in our life when we’re certain that our permanent happiness and content relies solely on the acquisition of one particular this or a specific that. Whether it be a house, car, purse, Jimmy Choo shoes, or Rolex watch we are convinced that being its proud owner our lives will finally be set.
**
If you lived in the south in the 80’s I can almost guarantee that the sugar substitute Sweet n’ Low was somewhere in your mom’s kitchen cabinets. The belief has been, and the brand still touts, that you can get the same sweetness with none of the calories. But as research and scientific evidence went on to show one of the down sides to this sugar imposter is it causes one to become hungry much quicker than usual. The evidence concluded that instead of losing the weight hoped for its users were actually gaining instead. It seems this artificial gratification only momentarily met the need.
And just like the low calorie substitute that dream home that was sure to give me fulfillment was soon replaced by the next longing. And I’m willing to bet that the stuff you felt would finally let you achieve your own happiness is now stuck in a closet corner or has been traded or sold to help you satisfy the next fix.
The messages we hear, the commercials we see, and the culture we are in all push us to live a saccharine existence, a way of life which promises that by acquiring these artificial substitutes we will have the sense of accomplishment and validation we so desperately want. But what they conveniently leave out of the message is that, like the imitation food additive, it’s temporary and before long you are famished again. So we fill that need with more stand-ins and its killing us.
The most recent statistics show that the average US household carries almost $15,000 in credit card debt with 3.5 credit cards in their wallet. The total amount of US consumer debt is 13 times greater than it was 30 years ago! And with an on-going recession and double digit unemployment it’s anticipated people will start making ends meet through monthly payments.
This is something that amazes me. No time in recorded history has there been more research and analysis on human behavior and self-image than there is today and the studies are unanimous on one vital point – stuff doesn’t make you happy. And everyone knows this yet why is it that we still rely on it for our self worth even when we know it doesn’t work? Last I checked that’s a pretty good definition of insanity.
What’s even more frightening is that we don’t seem to care and the next generation is following in our well-worn footsteps. Research indicates that even in the our economic crisis 75% of teens are spending more than they did the previous year and they are blowing it on tangibles like the latest $200 smart-phone so they can put it in the pocket of their $300 jeans that will go perfectly with their $150 shoes, and why? Because they saw some over priced under talented celebrity pimp it on their Facebook, Twitter page, or latest video?
And why is it we are then surprised when those blue jeans are found under their bed because as they’re out of style now because they’ve been replaced by ones with a different label? Where does that path lead?
**
Within nine months of moving into THE HOUSE I found myself looking at a second home on the beach, once again claiming
“If I could have one of these, I’d have finally made it”
By only the grace of God, good sense won over and I decided I’d still be fine without a place on the beach. Which was a blessing as less than a year after that house which I once thought would make me whole was sold and moved into by someone else and I was left to pick up the pieces of a life that fell apart by divorce.
It seems while saccharine isn’t good for the body it isn’t too good for the soul either.